why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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