Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
