Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
