you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i believe in u and ur pee
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
