ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize