Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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