I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
