I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I want her autograph on my taint
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
