fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
