I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize