he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
operation have a gay friend backfired
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
