She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Drunk is not a location!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
