She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
