i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I will pee on everything he values.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
