Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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