I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
