Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
