Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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