dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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