I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize