One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
