WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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