I want to walk on stilts...naked
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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