We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
