Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Randomize
