It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
