Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
