haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
