I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
