So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Randomize
