...so i touched it.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
