Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize