some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
