these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
