Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
