I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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