He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
