They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
