Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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