I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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