I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
