I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
