I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
