Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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