I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
