I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
3 2 1 whiskey
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
