I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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