Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
