He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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