have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I understand Curling. That high.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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