He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
