I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
