found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize