Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
