Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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