i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
