Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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