you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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