I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize