I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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