Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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