Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
